Christmas Excitement and rambles of rabbit trails

As Thanksgiving is now "officially" over, and the family members are packing their cars and heading for home I can only think of how bare my yard and house is. I am one who likes to go overboard. Yes, for years I hear how Christmas has thrown up around me...if Santa wasn't married he should of found me years ago, for I would fit in at the North Pole so well. Hot Chocolate is one of my absolute favorites, I love every cheesy christmas mug I own. Dolls and nut crackers line the shelves, and Nativities all *quauzillion* of them have their special place. I love every twinkle of every light, and to hear christmas music playing warms my heart. Apple spice and pine, and pumpkin filling the air, and crisp clean air around me.

I recently had friends move to Alaska, one of the reasons I am on BLOGGER, I envy them this year, though they just moved there and wont be quite settled as the holidays consume them, but to be in a new place a place like a winter wonderland, especially during this time......SIGH.. I can daydream.

While in the hospital I spent my awake time with HGTV on. EXTREME CHRISTMAS, was my absolute favorite... the houses all decorated and the people that come to look, the faces of the lil kids that look in amazement. I remember seeing Disneyland after dark, the lights, the castle, the windows that told stories and were animated.. there was magic there for a child... a place you never wanted to leave, and waited for some magical dust to come and sprinkle on you so that you could be INSIDE the animation, joining the friends you know by the big screen...( now all available on DVD)

Christmas to me is this time... yes, I know its so commercialized and yes there are arguments that the secular world has made it turn from its meanning ( the meaning the catholic churches gave it to get it away from the pagans) ...but I know the truth... its not really the time of year that Jesus was born, though we celebrate it, and that to me is wonderful!!! I know Jesus was born.... how it happened ...where it happened and to whom... even know a cast of visitors that came through ... I own a Bible and love the story, and love to share that story with anyone who will listen. But I love the beauty of this time of year that people want to be happy and to enjoy each other... it makes me happy to see families gather, and children dressed in bathrobes putting on a play,

As I rabbit trail, my point was and is..every year I anticipate this time of the year.. I have thoughts and plans of grandure..ususally my wallet or my abilities dont hold out...my husband too gets the holiday anxieties because it is on him I dump all the climbing and decorating, and hauling and stringing and checking bulbs to...I await impatiently inside the house for the grand spectacular light show at dusk. His pressure is great, and his headache HUGE.
Every year we say we will pack it different ..get more organized and do better...LOL yep year after year we make those promises only to find that in 365 days we are back to the same promises.

My yard is bare, and I have no tree up. I am sore and tired. I await not so patiently to see if the husband will on his own start to unload and set up, and with each minute he doesnt I try not to resent. How sad it is that I allow that to happen, especially when I know how good he is caring for me after my surgery, how for weeks he has had to carry the load of the housework, laundry, dishes, sit with me at the hospital, worry about my health, keep up his chin and encouragement to be brave for me as I lay weakened and scared... I have such an amazing man, a wonderful husband, I love him with all who I am and even more, for sometimes myself... isnt enough, and he deserves so much better.

I want to give him the gift of freedom ... no decorating, no packing up, but I want the magic of the beauty that it all brings..I want passerbys to smile as they look...for me, Christmas is all about the holiday spirit...
commercialized or not, I want to see elves hammering, bears ice skating, Santas HO HO HO'ing, and reindeer flying...
I want to see Bethlehem come to live in my yard, and baby Jesus surrounded by the worship of love, I want to see the cross that tried to take his life...empty because he is no longer on the cross but alive ...sitting at the right hand of God...I want twinkles and sparkles, and glistening snow... snowglobes filled with scenes that I have in smaller versions around my house....

We will see how this year fans out...I am missing it right now, but thankful for everything else....looking for the holiday magic.
If there isnt a spig of mistletoe up or a holly tied with ribbon, if sugar plums and gingerbreads are left unmade...I will survive...I know I will....
giving him the gift of no decorating is could just be the best gift of love I present him with this year....

things to ponder... things to wonder.....

First Blog

I started this account because I come often to read about my oldest Goddaughter and her family. I have a couple of friends who are blogging and I want to keep up on life ...I like to blog, though some of my blogs have caused havoc with people I love, misinterpretations and offenses caused me a lot of distress...so this may be the solution.
Actually I wanted to comment on a friends page and needed an account...so...here I am!


here is long catch up on my last few days...i just had a hysterectomy the day before thanksgiving and blogged about it on myspace.. so I will add it here as well.

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Saturday, November 29, 2008

awake took a hydro and thought i would write a few Current mood: awake Category: but staring to get tired... so I am home what a ride this has been... whats' i like to be healthy? how long has it been that I have really been? that would probably be years.. since I was / am a diabetic that lived in denial for so long...not anymore new stance on it all do my best to get and be and stay healthy spendng a toal of two weeks in the hospital during these three times.. having the drs. scare me thinking I wasn't coming home at one point...to this awful pain i have in my gut from the operation they had to split me :O( dr. said you had a HUGE uterus...not Guinness world record huge but close *??* um ok... that must be big.. I got on the scale hoping to have lost like 5lbs from this HUGE uterus being gone..and it said I GAINED 5 lbs!! What the heck is that? Especially if you saw how I was fed there..I should of lost 8!! I am hoping it is swelling and the medicine ball they had attached to me...LOL.. ok so I will weigh in a week and see what the results are they took it all. and no I didnt ask why.. I figure...why not? so I will have to maybe shave my chin instead of pluck now...um..oh well...I am old I dont shave my legs every day like I did when I was young...so it will all even out I had my surgery the day before turkey day...laying in bed I thought of all the many things I am thankful for...there is so much.... you have to sometimes stop and look to see some of them....the simplest things...a new bud coming up on a flower...how a duck waddles i cried at dinner time on turkey day..the food was sad and small and tasteless, i called work to see how well they rocked the kitchen and they did a FANTASTIC job from what I hear...and can't wait to actually talk to the girls and see that their personal experiences were I wondered how Sis did on cooking her first turkey dinner...did they take pictures? Did Noah eat with them...how excited Chloe was to have her daddy home???? I had hopped on here late last night hoping she had blogged about it...but no such luck,,,but that is ok..cause I am hoping they are enjoying their time together and making more grand babies! :OD Pretty much giving up on Elaine for at least another 5 yrs. *sigh* think Cassandra might even beat her..LOL SO Black friday... I have on a handful of times went out & enjoyed Black fridays' madness...last yr Lorry and I went most of the day... I awoke at 4am... ( like a natural clock) and called Lorry who was already joining the madness at her local wal mart so she could partake in buying the family Christmas pressie and saving over $500. ...( she got it!)...I joked and said I should roll myself down to the gift shop there in the lobby and see if they opened for Black Friday!!! lol that is a good suggestion! Hahaha so needless to say I did not partake...but best news I got to come home this is the best news cause I get to see and spend time with all the family, I met the two newest additions and what a sweetie the 5mo. baby is...my sister bought her gt grand baby the walker jungle thingy that Chloe has... so it was fun to see her in it...feet on a pillow ( just like Chloe, who will probably always need a pillow...lol) hearing the jungle sounds and seeing her eyes take it all in... seeing the 2 oldest gt grand kids sit in the floor and watch...and play... made me happy. It was all in all a good day pretty much my genetic gene pool all gathered around, getting along and enjoying each other... Hydros and Ibuprofen my drs. choice of drug for me..I am taking half the required dose of the silly hydros.. half works..and I dont wanna get any sort of addicted I had a medicine ball attached to my belly that was shooting in lanacaine (?) when the pouch was empty I was to take it ut.. that was weird and cool .. 400 feet of tiny tubing was in my belly...ok not really 400...but at least a foot on one side...it was pretty odd to undo all the tape and pull it out...it was a happy moment cause every now and then I would forget to put the strap on and stand to walk and the ball would fall..OUCH...well, how I MISS that medicine!!!! you read right...it made a difference! ok folks.. I woke at 4 to take a IB and again at 6 for my hydro... been on here about 20 minutes or so...think i will attempt to waddle back to my bed..and sleep...did I mention how wonderful my hunny is?? He has been a trooper through this all... he is even sleeping on the couch so not to disturb me... whatta man!!! :o) ok peace love & chicken grease to all my peeps... and thank you ....THANK YOU for all your prayers... I could feel the peace of God over me...and funny thing... right before they wheeled me in... you know when your kissing your hubby knowing that there is a chance it will be the last time and all your emotions are going haywire..I cried ...became emotional... saw a tad of fear in Robs eyes as he encouraged me and stayed strong and positive...even griping about how uncomfortable the chairs in the waiting area was LOL.. once I was wheeled in...they sort of "left" me by a door...while everyone was busy around me...not so much with me...but around the nurses station...I just quoted some scripture... said another lil prayer and knew that there was many around the US praying for me...and just like that a calmness and peace washed over me like a blanket, and then they covered me with a hot blankie OOOOOOH love those! gave me the happy shot and I was waking up in my room before I even knew it... so thank you my loved ones... think i will copy this and post on facebook... there are a few not on here that are on there... :o) *muah!*