As Thanksgiving is now "officially" over, and the family members are packing their cars and heading for home I can only think of how bare my yard and house is. I am one who likes to go overboard. Yes, for years I hear how Christmas has thrown up around me...if Santa wasn't married he should of found me years ago, for I would fit in at the North Pole so well. Hot Chocolate is one of my absolute favorites, I love every cheesy christmas mug I own. Dolls and nut crackers line the shelves, and Nativities all *quauzillion* of them have their special place. I love every twinkle of every light, and to hear christmas music playing warms my heart. Apple spice and pine, and pumpkin filling the air, and crisp clean air around me.
I recently had friends move to Alaska, one of the reasons I am on BLOGGER, I envy them this year, though they just moved there and wont be quite settled as the holidays consume them, but to be in a new place a place like a winter wonderland, especially during this time......SIGH.. I can daydream.
While in the hospital I spent my awake time with HGTV on. EXTREME CHRISTMAS, was my absolute favorite... the houses all decorated and the people that come to look, the faces of the lil kids that look in amazement. I remember seeing Disneyland after dark, the lights, the castle, the windows that told stories and were animated.. there was magic there for a child... a place you never wanted to leave, and waited for some magical dust to come and sprinkle on you so that you could be INSIDE the animation, joining the friends you know by the big screen...( now all available on DVD)
Christmas to me is this time... yes, I know its so commercialized and yes there are arguments that the secular world has made it turn from its meanning ( the meaning the catholic churches gave it to get it away from the pagans) ...but I know the truth... its not really the time of year that Jesus was born, though we celebrate it, and that to me is wonderful!!! I know Jesus was born.... how it happened ...where it happened and to whom... even know a cast of visitors that came through ... I own a Bible and love the story, and love to share that story with anyone who will listen. But I love the beauty of this time of year that people want to be happy and to enjoy each other... it makes me happy to see families gather, and children dressed in bathrobes putting on a play,
As I rabbit trail, my point was and is..every year I anticipate this time of the year.. I have thoughts and plans of grandure..ususally my wallet or my abilities dont hold out...my husband too gets the holiday anxieties because it is on him I dump all the climbing and decorating, and hauling and stringing and checking bulbs to...I await impatiently inside the house for the grand spectacular light show at dusk. His pressure is great, and his headache HUGE.
Every year we say we will pack it different ..get more organized and do better...LOL yep year after year we make those promises only to find that in 365 days we are back to the same promises.
My yard is bare, and I have no tree up. I am sore and tired. I await not so patiently to see if the husband will on his own start to unload and set up, and with each minute he doesnt I try not to resent. How sad it is that I allow that to happen, especially when I know how good he is caring for me after my surgery, how for weeks he has had to carry the load of the housework, laundry, dishes, sit with me at the hospital, worry about my health, keep up his chin and encouragement to be brave for me as I lay weakened and scared... I have such an amazing man, a wonderful husband, I love him with all who I am and even more, for sometimes myself... isnt enough, and he deserves so much better.
I want to give him the gift of freedom ... no decorating, no packing up, but I want the magic of the beauty that it all brings..I want passerbys to smile as they look...for me, Christmas is all about the holiday spirit...
commercialized or not, I want to see elves hammering, bears ice skating, Santas HO HO HO'ing, and reindeer flying...
I want to see Bethlehem come to live in my yard, and baby Jesus surrounded by the worship of love, I want to see the cross that tried to take his life...empty because he is no longer on the cross but alive ...sitting at the right hand of God...I want twinkles and sparkles, and glistening snow... snowglobes filled with scenes that I have in smaller versions around my house....
We will see how this year fans out...I am missing it right now, but thankful for everything else....looking for the holiday magic.
If there isnt a spig of mistletoe up or a holly tied with ribbon, if sugar plums and gingerbreads are left unmade...I will survive...I know I will....
giving him the gift of no decorating is could just be the best gift of love I present him with this year....
things to ponder... things to wonder.....
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