So I haven't really blogged because life is going by so fast... Wednesday one of my best friends went home to be with the Lord. How I feel cheated. I was suppose to get together with her here sometime in the next near future... I was attempting to convince her of Branson, and she me back to the great NW. Either way we were gonna get together.. pray , laugh, and eat toast!!!!!!!
This woman was AMAZING!!!! Adopting child after child, she fostered, and brought the hard cases to her home, she nurtured and loved and taught them to work through their disabilities and make them work positive for them. Being one of the first families in Kitsap county to adopt a sibling group of African American children. She loved her kids and ours.. everyone's. She was a counselor for drug and alcohol in the local school system. She mentored young and old...always showing the love and grace of Jesus. Norma, my heart broke for a minute my dear sweet friend and sister, but it was quickly filled with joy knowing that you & I are not over... we will reunite one day with the King. WOOT!
On another sad note.. I am sitting on my computer in the spare bedroom.. writing this blog, when at 3:45 this morning I was up and heading to the car, excited because Lorry agreed to drive me to Ohio so I could see the grand daughter. I loaded the back with tons of pressies, birthday and Christmas for her and Christmas for Noah. It was cold and dark, but I was feeling warm and excited... in just 8.5 hrs I would be hopefully holding and loving on that sweet baby girl, and when she warmed up to me and her new fat fluffy baby I was bringing that wasn't wrapped because it was just a from Nana pressy for no other reason... then I would watch her tear into her birthday gifts... and tonight, I would be sitting with her on my lap hopefully rocking her reading her one of the many books I bought her.
But as I stated, here I sit... and brokenhearted... We only got about an hour an half away when my belly pain was getting worse.. I had ignored it when it started after the first 30 minutes, but by then... I couldn't....I prayed... I held my breath, and finally I told Lorry... this trip can't happen. Once home I immediately took a pain pill, which I had already stopped taking days ago..and went to bed... waking after 10... depressed.
I can handle the fact that I am not getting to see the girls.. but since I can blog freely here... I cant help feel that Cassie will think less of me for not making it. So many of "OUR" issues are about me not doing what I say... (childhood interpretations, and offenses grew) my lack of communicating with her.... the enemy tells me in my mind.. she doesn't even think you got in the car.. she thinks you lied ... or the worse of it all.. it doesn't even matter to her because:
A) I am not her mom
B)She didn't really think I would come anyway
C) There isn't no need for me, they have Joshuas' mom that comes often.
yeah, I live in shadows of hurts from the past... but I know there is deliverance in Jesus.
so.... no baby smooches for me.... and writing this I have started bawling like a silly baby so I will close this off...
WHEW! Life...whatta ride! :o)
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